Tribute from Jasmine

From: Jesmine Yap (Malaysia/Canberra)

Zi On and I have been friends for 7 years. We started our undergraduate degrees at the ANU in year 2001 and for the first 4 years of our friendship, we were residents of Ursula College and attended Grace Christian Assembly together.

As Zi On and I usually hung out with different groups of friends, we found it interesting (and often joked about) how we somehow managed to stay close friends. We always managed to find time to catch up with what was going on in each other’s lives.

Zi On was a good listener and someone that I considered trustworthy. As such, I felt comfortable talking to him about anything and everything – our day, favourite songs, relationships, religion, studies, disappointments, plans for the future, the best way to cook Bah Kut Teh and Char Koay Teow. Indeed, we spent lots of time doing just that. We talked over cups of coffee or hot chocolate (he really liked the double deck hot chocolate drink at Cream), over meals, in each other’s rooms, in the dining room, after class, on the way to/from church.

Zi On was like a bigger brother. He always looked out for me and was a protective friend. He was always ready to offer a listening ear and advice. He was always ready to offer encouragement and support – be it in the form of kind words, cartoon drawings with thoughtful messages or beautiful hand-make cards.

The first time that I tutored a psychology tutorial, I had expressed to him how nervous I felt. Zi On volunteered to attend my lab so that he could be the familiar face that I could look at to feel more comfortable and confident. It must have been a boring 3 hours for him (especially since he was a Commerce person) but he sat in for the entire thing and even participated in the quiz and discussions!

At the end of my degree in 2004, I was to return to Malaysia for what I thought would be for good at that time. Bad time management resulted in me rushing around trying to tie loose ends before leaving. Zi On stepped in and even adopted my fighting fish, Coca-cola, without any hesitation. My pet could not have been in better hands.

At the start of year 2006, I returned to Canberra to pursue my Masters. We met up for the first time in over a year at Pancake Parlour. To our delight, we could just pick things up from where we left off even though we had only kept in touch with the occasional e-mail and chat on MSN. We talked and laughed as if I had never left.

One difference that I noticed in Zi On during this time was that he was much more reflective about what he was doing now and what he wanted to do in the future. When Zi On informed me that he was intending to apply to Melbourne and Queensland for his Masters, the both of us were hoping that he would get into Melbourne (as chances of me moving to Melbourne after my Masters were a lot higher). Naturally, we were both disappointed that he did not get into Melbourne but were pleased that he would still be able to pursue his Masters in Queensland. We comforted each other by making plans to meet up at Ampang Point (Malaysia) instead.

I last saw Zi On right before he went to Brisbane. He blessed me with some things that he did not want to bring to Brisbane and we had a meal together. Because he was going away to Brisbane (despite the fact that he would still be in the same country), we said our goodbyes. I am glad that we had the opportunity to make explicit what our friendship meant to each other. I am sure that many of these thoughts and sentiments, though as simple as “I really appreciate your friendship”, would have been left unsaid if the both of us continued staying in Canberra. But I highly doubt that any amount of thank you’s would have sufficed for the friend that he had been to me.

While deeply saddened by the incident in Queensland, it came as no surprise at all when I heard about the sacrifice that Zi On had made. It came as no surprise that in such a critical situation, his very first reaction was to go to the aid of someone else.

Nya, you will always remain precious friend to me and your friendship will be so dearly missed. And Nya, you still owe me a reply to my last e-mail.