Memories of Zi On

Almost anything reminds me of you!

My Dearest Zi On

It is 5 August today, my son, you have left us for 8 months. Still trying to settle down in your new home? How are you my son?

I miss you and I am still missing you. Tears fill my eyes easily as I look around the empty living room, and remember the time you sat at the sofa reading about speed-reading. I remember the time you were here teaching me some physical exercise which you believed was good for our health. I remember you took a picture of the main entrance door, hoping to record the familiar sound when the door is being opened or shut, you said you wanted to capture that sound, that part of your childhood or teenage years. Everything is still the same here in this quiet afternoon. But everything is not same anymore without you!

I just made two cups of coffee-one for me and one for you. A while ago, I was chatting with Hui, your NZ friend and who has become my NZ friend and daughter too. I told her that as I looked out from the big window, outside is a beautiful display of colours with blooming bougainvillea and many shades of green coming from various plants in our not- too-well maintained garden. Then I suggested as we chatted over the Internet, “Why don’t we have coffee, it is very warm here but cold in NZ.” So we did. As I sipped the coffee, I felt your presence in my heart, and Hui and I celebrated your life, the life of a Hero following the footsteps of Jesus, the life of an Angel who lives forever in our hearts.

Son, in 3 more days the world will be watching the Olympic Games. The Beijing Olympics is eagerly expected by everyone. I am sure you were looking forward to watch this world event, where the best of the world are competing with true spirit of sportsmanship and for the glory of Sports. I told Ying over the phone this morning that you don’t even have a chance to watch the 2008 Beijing Olympics. She said, “No he will watch the Games from where he is.” And your Aunt Cho Bee said, “Zi On is getting front row VIP seats watching the Olympics from above!!” I believe so, you will watch it with great enthusiasm. In my mind I can see you smiling away and then eagerly cheering your favourite sportsman or country.

Oh yes, today I read about Tottenham’s 3-0 win over Germany’s Borussia Dortmund in Rotterdam on Sunday to help the Londoners bag the Feyenoord Jubileum Tournament. Zi On, so once again, your favourite team has made you proud. Cheers!

Almost anything reminds me of you!

Son, my On, how am I going to continue my life without you? Recently at a church service in Kulim, I heard a very touching testimony from Pastor Albert Simon. His life was almost like Job, filled with real trials whether hardship, poverty, near-death sickness and ill-treatment due to his work for Jesus. Yet God sent “angels” to lift him up at each trial and then at each turn of event, God used him to minister to many people. I was very encouraged by his story. That evening, in Kulim, I was reminded to trust God by learning to be still before Him.

Zi On, Psalm 46:10 says: “Be Still and know that I am God”. When the going is tough, remember to cling to Jesus and be still before Him. I know I need to quiet my spirit and still my soul before our loving Shepherd and know that He is God. Son, that is what I will do, and that is what we will do.

Is everything not the same anymore without you? I ask myself. Our loving God remains the same, He changes not!


Love you forever, miss you every day, our dear Zi On.
Mama with Pa and Zi Lu
05-08-2008