Today is 5 Feb 2008; you have left us two months already! During these two months, there has not been a day that we have not thought about you, talked about you and missed you. We miss you so much dear son, we miss you!
This morning I remember you, I want to begin today by going to God and hear what He says. Let me share with you what the Lord says in Psalm 65: 1-8. I am reminded that:
God our Saviour is the hope of all the ends of the earth
and of the farthest seas.
Praise awaits Him!
Son, what I hear from Psalm 65 is so beautiful!
O God Our Saviour, Praise Awaits You!
(1)
O God our Saviour,
The hope of all the ends of the earth
and of the farthest seas.
Praise awaits you!
O You who hear prayer,
To You all men will come.
You answer us with awesome deeds of righteousness.
(2)
O God our Saviour,
The hope of all the ends of the earth
and of the farthest seas.
Praise awaits you!
Who formed the mountains by Your power,
Who stilled the roaring of the seas,
The roaring of their waves.
(3)
O God our Saviour,
The hope of all the ends of the earth
and of the farthest seas.
Praise awaits you!
Those living far away fear your wonders;
Where morning dawns and evening fades
You call forth songs of joy.
(4)
O God our Saviour,
The hope of all the ends of the earth
and of the farthest seas.
Praise awaits you!
Blessed are those you choose
And bring near to live in your courts,
Who are filled with the good things of your house.
~~~~~
O God Our Saviour,
Praise awaits You!
_________________
From Psalm 65:1-8
_________________
Yes, God is our hope and He awaits our praise. In times like these, can we still praise Him? Yes, in sorrow, we can still come to Him with our praises. We praise Him even with our tears, for He is our hope, the anchor of our souls.
But son, I also want to remember you with joy! You are such a beautiful person! Though you might not realize it, you had touched so many people. Many of our friends in UP and in Unitata, and in T.I. Wesley share our pain, they cry our cry, they grieve our grief, but they also share our hope and our joy. They are all proud of you. Aunty Siew Tin said that she is honoured to have known you.
Aunty Shela could not stop her tears when she talks about you.
After you were born, we took you back from the KL hospital to Unitata. It was Aunty Shela who helped us to carry our precious baby as we traveled home. And she continued to help us to take care of you for nearly 6 years. She is one of the very few people we know who is always gracious, gentle and kind, respectful and dedicated in carrying out her duties. I can’t remember if I had told you that I gathered a few friends in Unitata and celebrated her 50th birthday in Aug 2006 in our home. It was an honour to celebrate her special day in our home. Son, remember you told me not too long ago that that you wanted to buy a gift for Aunty Shela? Well son, Ma had fulfilled your wish on your behalf. I bought her a brooch. It is a beautiful Angel of Mercy with a message -
This “thoughtful” little angel has a little
wisdom to impart,
About those very rare souls that step quietly
into our heart,
Truly Angels of Mercy, special people sent
by God above,
With special reserves of strength and
Dedication tempered with love.
This message speaks of her, I am sure you agree. We are always thankful that God had sent such kind people to our lives, and son, I know that you are forever grateful to her, as we are. (Shela came just now, and I presented this gift to her on your behalf with your love.)
The world is beautiful because there are people who believe in LOVE. Son, you believe in love and your life is a story of love. Though you are still so young, you showed us what true love is. We are humbled by your example and we will continue to emulate you. Yes, we remember this is what Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you that you love one another, by this all men will know that you are my disciples”.
Zi On, life is never the same without you! Papa, Zi Lu and I try to go on with our lives. But every corner of our house reminds us of you. The little teddy bear which you bought for me at the Fight Cancer campaign is your reminder that I should continue to battle against breast cancer with courage and determination. Though you are not here to cheer me in person any more, son, I must continue the race with victory as my goal.
Your loss brought a sudden and inconsolable pain to all of us. I find myself often thrown into a turmoil of two opposite swings of emotions. At times, there is a strong sense of courage to go on as I remember the legacy you left behind. Sometimes just as I thought I am managing my grief, uncontrollably, tears would fill my eyes, as memory of your sudden departure hit me hard with unimaginable helplessness.
Tough it may be, and tougher it may get, but to quote your dear Uncle Kuan (your Ah Koo): “We must get on with what is both the simplest and the most awesome of tasks: we must dare to live.”
Yes, Zi On, we must dare to live!
I love you, Son,
Ma together with Pa and Zi Lu
5-2-2008
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